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History of the Birthday Dirge
"The (Viking/Barbarian/Mongol/SCA/Fandom) Birthday Dirge" is sung to the first refrain of "The Volga Boatmen," composed by Ilya Yefimovich Repin (1844-1930), Russian painter and composer, born in Chuguyev, considered the outstanding realist of his generation. Yes, he was depressing, even more so than your typical Scandinavian black and white art film. Even if you don't know the tune by name (likely), you surely know it by sound. It's the depressing sounding Russian folk tune that nearly everyone has heard at one time or another. The resounding thud that follows each "Happy Birthday!" is traditionally accompanied by either a "HUHN"-like grunt, or a thump on the table or floor. The sort of groaning grunt that workers lifting heavy loads, marching into a bleak battle, or rowing huge oars might find natural.
The origins are shrouded in mystery. This tune, like "The Ride of the Valkeries and "O Fortuna," was apparently one of the many public domain "stock" musical scores overused to the point of comedy. In either case, it has been popular in some circles because it's:
Not copyrighted, thus no royalty fees (where as the popular "Happy Birthday to You," is copyrighted)
Humorously not standard
Yet takes on the popular ribbing of how aging is a depressing theme
Charity work will attract him. The subject would make a loving parent, an affectionate mate, and a perfectly charming dinner companion. As for his talents at leadership, they could be ample. Providing he does not allow doom and gloom to overcome him in the face of minor failure, the Cancer Goat should be a whiz at sticking to whatever he undertakes. The one inner hitch with this personality will be that both Cancer and Goats are easily bogged down by emotional hurts. A buoyant partner is indicated here to keep the atmosphere light and gay. Without this outside influence of enforced cheer, the subject may sink inside himself and spend valuable time licking wounds inflicted by those more unfeeling than himself.
You Goats, above all, enjoy the comforts you are able to reap from the strength of those around you. Your strength is your whimsy. You appeal is your ability to love with a capital L. Your mission then ought to be simple: Find a way to protect yourself from open conflict. Do not engage in struggles that smell of deceit or call upon you to exercise guile. Craftier ones than yourselves are out there in the big, bad world, just longing for you to set a paw on their pasture. Danger does not agree with your sensitive nature.
Experiment with communication in anxious times. It's easier than you think to approach the touchy side of life. As of now, begin to plan ahead. Make allowances for your eccentric nature by developing a rigorous, almost religious devotion to foresight. Look ahead.
Far be it from me to wish make scapegoats of these vexingly lovable members of the opposite sex...I confess before I begin that I have a soft spot in my head when it comes to Goat men. The best part of any Goat experience is the hors d'oeuvre. Dalliances with Goat men are always a treat. The seduction consist of showering you with presents and unnecessary frippery for which you have no apparent need. The veritable debauch of generosity, when applied to the middle of the meal, manages to get somehow turned around backward. What once was a means of striving to make you love him more becomes a method of calming your ire when there is trouble afoot. Unless you are the type of lady who can manage to pay off the milkman with smiles instead of regular checks, don't get in too deep. Goat men never tend to get around to taking care of dull essentials. My advice to the women who can't live without a Goat man is this: Take a cold shower, two valium, swallow a bottle of Chambolle-Musigny 1971, and lie down for an hour to think it over. Goat men make ever so much better lovers than husbands.
But, there are compensations in being involved with a Goat man. He will never nag you. He is usually a calm type, not easily angered nor aroused. But don't push him. Never ask a Goat man what he is thinking. Never press for information about his inner self. He won't tell you. You can boss him all you want - he likes it. He'll find excuses, but basically he does not mind if you wear the pants. And most of all, do not expect a Goat man to change. He will agree that he is difficult and hard to get through to and inscrutable most of the time. Please don't think that he's often getting your "goat". He means well.
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