Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

ScienceChic
Topic Author
Mountain Champion

05 Nov 2011 17:55 #1 by ScienceChic

Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds was created by ScienceChic

Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds
Jeanna Bryner
04 November 2011

If asked how many friends you have, some may have trouble distinguishing between the lengthy list of Facebook friends and those close pals you confide in. Well, it turns out, Americans' lists of the close type has shrunk to two, down from three confidantes 25 years ago, a new study suggests.

The study also found that the number of us who have zero confidantes, or the socially isolated, has not increased over these decades, as scientists had suspected based on a 2006 study showing a near tripling of Americans' social isolation between 1985 and 2004.

Are we becoming hermits? Not quite, according to Brashears. "Rather than our networks getting smaller overall, what I think may be happening is we're simply classifying a smaller proportion of our networks as suitable for important discussions," Brashears told LiveScience. "This is reassuring in that it suggests that we're not becoming less social."

"This leads me to think that we should be less concerned about social isolation, or lacking any social contact, and more concerned about social poverty, or not having adequate support."

How many close friends would you say you have, and do you think they'd help you if you needed or asked for it? Do you feel that your circle of friends has diminished as you've gotten older, or just whittled to the best quality friends?

I'd say that I have 4 great friends whom I know would be there for me no matter what and with whom I can share any problem. But I have many more that I consider wonderful friends, we just don't have the opportunity to spend time together like we used to because I've moved away from my hometown, and I'm not sure how much they could help me if I needed it b/c they'd have to travel away from or with their families to do so. The circle of people that I hang out with has shrunk, but that's more of a consequence of me not going out like I used to, having families and full-time jobs tends to do that; but, I haven't lost many friends over the years so I feel blessed that they are all still in my life, even if contact is infrequent.

Another question: is it possible to form deep, quality friendships later in life? That emotional depth that comes with growing up together seems to be lacking, I've discovered, or is it just that we can more easily recognize superficial relationships and not overestimate their worth as when we are younger? I've found that the people I've met in the last 10 years are more likely to have wandered out of my life, or not formed strong bonds, the same way as earlier-life acquaintances (or maybe my perception is flawed due to faulty memory recall). What are your thoughts?

"Now, more than ever, the illusions of division threaten our very existence. We all know the truth: more connects us than separates us. But in times of crisis the wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers. We must find a way to look after one another as if we were one single tribe.” -King T'Challa, Black Panther

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is. ~Winston Churchill

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Arlen
Mountain Legend

05 Nov 2011 18:14 #2 by Arlen

Replied by Arlen on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

Maybe people have recognized the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Friends are rare.

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archer
Mountain Legend

05 Nov 2011 18:37 #3 by archer

Replied by archer on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

I think it is more difficult to form the extraordinary friendships later in life, but it does happen
My closest friend I met 12 years ago...she is the kind of friend I can totally trust, who I know will be there for me whenever I need her, no questions asked. She's like family. Childhood friends tend to drift away as people move from place to place. Although I can visit them after many years and we pick up right where we left off.

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Steve-o
Mountain Folk

06 Nov 2011 05:43 #4 by Steve-o

Replied by Steve-o on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

I married my closest and best friend. That way she'll always be around.

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V_A
Mountain Legend

06 Nov 2011 06:31 #5 by V_A

Replied by V_A on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

steve-o wrote: I married my closest and best friend. That way she'll always be around.

Good thing your closest & best friend wasn't a guy rofllol

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CC
Mountain Legend

06 Nov 2011 07:28 #6 by CC

Replied by CC on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

I also married my best friend.
I do think that you can form true friendships later in life. I have a few that I will cherish always.

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ComputerBreath
Mountain Legend

07 Nov 2011 09:56 #7 by ComputerBreath

Replied by ComputerBreath on topic Close Friends Less Common Today, Study Finds

I can really say that I only have one really close friend that I know I can count on no matter what...we've been friends for 30 years this past September...and surprizingly her and I share the same birthday. My kids call her Aunt and vice versa and the kids count each other as cousins.

I have another friend I met in 1985 that I'm pretty sure I can count on...and he knows he can count on me...I was one of two people he had to call when his brother died unexpectedly. Fortunately, his wife understands our relationship and she has become somewhat of a friend to me, though I've only physically met her once.

In the last several years, I've not tried to "make" friends...either that or it just doesn't come as easily as it did when I was younger. But that is OK with me. Maybe this is because in my younger years I was in the military and the friendships I forged were based on being away from home. I think it also helped that we were all doing the same thing...defending our country in the military...and were thrown into situations and places non-military don't experience. Now...there are no former military in the area I live and most of the people living there have lived there for years, some of the families for generations, and our commonality just isn't there... I'd rather not have any friends where I live than have non-loyal, non-dependable friends.

I've found that a lot of the younger generation seems to be less loyal to the people they call friend than the older generation. I also think the term "friend" is used a lot when the person really is just an acquaintenance...it is overused.

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