Valhalla Consensus: Let Humanity Destroy the Earth

My new favorite, anti-denier deniers, satirical AGW site! Enjoy!

http://friendsofginandtonic.org/files/8 ... b-248.html
Valhalla Consensus: Majority of Gods prepared to let Humanity destroy the Earth
19/01/11 Andew Nut Waikikamukau, NZ

In a hard-argued consensus statement, the first ever divine gathering announced that they were prepared to let humanity destroy the Earth. This countered an earlier unilateral announcement from Jehova through his earthly representative John Shimkus. http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/36217/j ... roy-earth/

Both these propositions were refudiated at GoDS-1 (The first Gathering of Deities & Spirits, which was held at Valhalla under the Framework Convention on Celestial Cataclysms). GoDS-1 was larger then expected due to new members of AOSIS (Association of Small Indigenous Spirits).

Although GoDS-1 was dominated by procedural issues the gathering finally managed to address destroying Earth, issuing a consensus statement that papered over their divergent views.

1. A pro-active group headed by Kali announced their intention to destroy the Earth and said that if humanity wanted to do so, they had better get on with it quick-smart.

2. A larger group with Odin as their spokes-God said that destroying the Earth was definitely part of their divine mission statement, but it would have to take its turn behind other tasks such as cleaning out the attic.

3. The nature gods in AOSIS took a different view. Generally nature gods dabbled in matters sexual with the hope of getting a bit of the action for themselves. Destroying the Earth was not really their thing, but if humanity wanted to destroy the Earth, then the nature Gods couldn't do much to stop them.

A final procedural dispute erupted over the form in which to issue the communique. Among the methods proposed were gold tablets, scrolls in a cave in a sacred valley, divinely appointed congressmen and fiery letters burnt into the side of a mountain. This divine debate was rendered moot when the communique and the full transcript of discussions were posted on the wikileaks website.

http://friendsofginandtonic.org/page13/page13.html
Friends of Gin & Tonic
#1 AGW Denial Site in Canada & Australia

Our Mission:
We seek to inform the public of the findings of a handful of amateurs of unrivalled capability (but almost no ‘formal’ climatological expertise) that utterly undermine the so-called ‘scientific consensus’ that the planet is warming and that people are causing it. Exercising merciless control of the scientific literature by requiring that published work be consistent with such piffle as observations, physical principles, and mathematical models, this evil clique tries to suppress the promulgation of any alternative view. Small fringe groups like our sister organization the Friends of Science are thus reduced to using right-wing blogs, opinion columns of like-minded newspapers, and guerrilla publicity stunts at international meetings to promote their message.

It is our mission to expose the full implications of the position of the FoS and similar groups by publicizing the mass of so-called ‘science’ that stands in the way of its acceptance, and thereby help the general public to appreciate the true significance of climate deniers’ pronouncements.

We also intend to promote the appreciation and consumption of gin & tonic, despite the hardships attendant on this in Alberta. Like the truth about climate, gin has a hard time gaining acceptance in a place where bad rye rules: it’s never promoted, you never see a lot of the better stuff, and if you decide you want the best, well, you’re going to have to pay for it. Eventually, we hope to illustrate the parallels between our two 'raisons d'etre' by demonstrating that the Earth’s climate system is far better represented by half a glass of gin & tonic (with ice, plenty of bubbles, and a slice of lime) than by the overpriced computer models constructed by bloated organizations like NASA.

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