"You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Blazer Bob wrote: 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

:thumbsup:

31. You get Christmas cards from Redman Chewing Tobacco, Anheiser-Busch, and Jim Beam recognizing you as a lifetime customer.
32. You spot a fella wearing stingray cowboy boots and your first thought is "I wonder if those are waterproof..."
33. You refer to the aroma of fresh cow manure as "The Smell of Money!"
34. You know how to harness a team of mules, they respond as expected when you say "gee" and "haw," and there isn't a stump you and your team ever met that you couldn't pull out of the ground.
35. You have at least one firearm in every vehicle you own.

Redneck go cart

http://denver.craigslist.org/mcy/3055281119.html

36. You get turned away from Seaworld because you brought your fishing pole with you.

Your mom ruins her best dress hunting.