Romantic comedies spell real-life disaster

The unrealistic expectations generated by rom-coms need to be addressed, says Jenny McCartney

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/colu ... aster.html

I would have to agree with this. First off, women really are not attracted to men that are this feminine. But it is just a movie. Jeez, calling it poison, may be over doing it.

Perhaps an overstatement to make a point. Is there something to this? Likely so, not because I know anything about rom-coms (don't watch them). I draw my supposition on other criteria that may have similar expectations and negative impacts. First, let's set the stage and say that not everyone is influenced similarly, if at all. Let's start with spelling bees. Begun early in schools, these habitually reinforce the notion to some that they can not spell and pretty soon that person who sits down right away always ends up sitting down right away because they themselves are now convinced they can not spell. Beauty pageants may have a similar stupid expectation and emphasis on the ideal beauty all girls ought to strive for? How distraught do girls get over this issue? Boy's don't cry, tough it out messages where do those get us? Basically, I see many messages of ideal behavior being presented throughout our life. The "ideal" man of rom-coms is just another one of those messages that my weigh heavily on some and be totally ignored by others. At worst, a guy may learn a thing or two without becoming anal about it. There is always something useful a guy can incorporate in his behavior.

Rockdoc, what do you think about changing roles in society on this issue? Not that long ago, there was always that knight in shining armor thing. Meaning women could not support themselves without a 'man'. Things have changed alot. And it is much easier for women to support themselves. But look at old movies. One of my favorites is National Velvet. One amazing comment by the girl's father in the movie is, 'Your face is your fortune'. And then you look at Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, well just pick a fairy tale. We girls learned early to dream about the knight in shining armour saving us and taking care of us.

Now, all that being said. I do like SOME chick flicks. I do know that they are not reality. I guess it is in my DNA. I have heard this argument in the article before. And it has some merit but over stated. And I really thought the statement about porn was just as true.

Really, men and women's expectations have changed, culture has changed and less and less men feel the need to be the protective, knight. We women are now expected to pull our own weight and we don't need the knight anymore. And generally women like that bad boy for a reason. I don't but.... Just an observation that might be wrong.
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CinnamonGirl wrote: Rockdoc, what do you think about changing roles in society on this issue? Not that long ago, there was always that knight in shining armor thing. Meaning women could not support themselves without a 'man'. Things have changed alot. And it is much easier for women to support themselves. But look at old movies. One of my favorites is National Velvet. One amazing comment by the girl's father in the movie is, 'Your face is your fortune'. And then you look at Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, well just pick a fairy tale. We girls learned early to dream about the knight in shining armour saving us and taking care of us.

Now, all that being said. I do like SOME chick flicks. I do know that they are not reality. I guess it is in my DNA. I have heard this argument in the article before. And it has some merit but over stated. And I really thought the statement about porn was just as true.

Really, men and women's expectations have changed, culture has changed and less and less men feel the need to be the protective, knight. We women are now expected to pull our own weight and we don't need the knight anymore. And generally women like that bad boy for a reason. I don't but.... Just an observation that might be wrong.
'

I unfortunately am stuck in the past. While I have no problem with women going out and earning a living, even making more than I, I still find a personal need to earn my keep. A number of years ago, I was not in a position to earn my keep, though it was not necessary for me to do so, I found my inability to be the provider unsettling. Prior to that I had no idea of how ingrained that was with me. All my life I've been the provider, have no problem doing that, but when I can not contribute that presented a major phycological and emotional issue for me.

Clearly, we role play, acting out the parts we were taught in childhood. Not only do I consider parental influence but outside influence instrumental in all of this. Indeed I suspect TV, movies, etc. to influence our perspective of social norms. As such I anticipate a shift away from my own conditioning to follow. It would be most interesting to get a young person's perspective on this matter. Likely you will find some very liberated and others by virtue of their family upbringing, still back in a traditional stranglehold.

This is another of those topics one can think about and look at from many different angles. Though I'd like to think of myself as open minded, experience tells me I'm more hidebound than I'd like to believe. Having said that, I would have no problem with my wife working, earning more than I, just as long as I was working too and doing enough to make substantial contributions.