I could use someone's good thoughts....

BB: Boy, howdy!!! It is uplifting (wierd word to use, but if fits) to know that someone else feels not happy at Christmas time. My reason is partly 'cuz I'm an adult now and both my kids are grown, but mostly because...

Well, my first little sister was born on Christmas Day, so we would always celebrate Christmas in the morning and then have a special cake or special time around dinner for Shelley to celebrate her birthday. It was special 'cuz it was her birthday...and 'cuz it was Christmas. When I was 11 and she was eight days away from being 9, she was murdered. And honestly, that killed (pun intended) Christmas for me. I still celebrate her birthday and her life, but because her murder was so close to Christmas and her birthday it is difficult for me to separate all of it. So, once my kids grew up, I decided I was done pretending, and now I don't do much.

I buy stuff for my people all year long, so giving is part and parcel for me. Those that know me and love me understand and have never, ever pushed me. For me it means paid time away from work.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this supposed season of joy and happiness.

I always send good thoughts your way. Trek up, and I'll buy you lunch.

bailey bud wrote: I hate (capital "H") the holiday season.

Right about now - everyone gets in a festive mode ----
People start drinking (unfortunately - alcohol doesn't mix very well with me)

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everyone starts shopping (I have a budget of $100 for 5 people)

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and pretending that everyone is their friend (in general, with a few special exceptions

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I don't have friends - I don't trust or like people - and have been that way for awhile).

I can't stand the fact that Christmas is a fabricated holiday (Jesus was NOT born Dec 25 --- and in fact - most Bible scholars say that his birth didn't look anything like what we make it out to be). Yes - I'm Christian ---- no - I can't stand Christmas.

I hate feeling inadequate. I can't stand wondering why someone ignored me the entire frickin year - and suddenly decided that I'm a friend around Christmas. I can't stand walking through stores - looking at all the crap that I really can't afford. It's hard to enjoy the glare from my kids that says I didn't get the right thing (maybe they wanted the new Xbox - I got them a Play Station). I can't stand the fact that my parents send me money, instead of visiting me.

All of this is to say - very sincerely - if I know you - send some positive thoughts in my direction. I absolutely despise the month of December, and could use your help getting through it.

Apologies for all the "me" and "I" words

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sure I can self-diagnose and say that there's an ego/self-centric issue here. I'm simply explaining how I feel about the holidays.

It's kind of obvious to people around me

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afraid BB is no fun to be around right about now.

Wish it was different

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[Temporarily suspending my boycott of this board]

I wrote a big post last night to cheer you up Double B, but after proof reading it I did'nt submit it because I did'nt think it would cheer you up- So I sat in bed and tried to think of something else that would, but came up empty..I will say this though- Unless you have Downs syndrome or are otherwise mentally or physically challenged, nobody is "inadequate". Were all the same and you won the ultimate race by beating a million other sperm just to get here- Cheer up buddy, the days start getting longer in just a few weeks...

I hope the Moderator team approves my message before Double B does something stupid.....

Hurry mods!

Godamit!

[Temporarily suspending my boycott of this board]

what a charitable and laudatory thing to do..... Thanks, VL.

BB, I can relate as well. I hate what has been done to Christmas by the retailers. It has become about spending and buying and greed. I've told my kids and family that their present will be a donation in their name to the Philippine disaster relief. We've all got too much stuff. They've got nothing. Of course my wife won't let them go without something under the tree but I'm doing what I can to take the greed out of the holiday.

:pinkrose: Namaste Mr. bailey bud. When overwhelmed with life, I've found that a trip through memory lane pulling out old family photo albums always makes me smile. Even seeing loved ones who've left this earth, rather than being sad, I am grateful for the time we had and the lessons they taught.

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
Calvin Coolidge
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topic ... zLU2POi.99

Take your family and do something nice for someone else from now through the New Year w/o any expectation of thanks. Works every time one of the kids talks about what they aren't getting for Christmas.

Dear Bud,
Please don't feel alone. My contribution will be to reassure you that your feelings are normal, not inspire you to an artificial gaiety. It's hoped you will then feel free to rejoin the celebration.
The honest truth is that many people despise the holidays, and for exactly the reasons you expressed:
I hate feeling inadequate. People without warm family connections get the incorrect notion that everybody else has them, and the suicide rate goes up as they compare their scanty social life to the TV Ideal. In actuality, many family members don't enjoy seeing one another but rather, endure the get-togethers long enough for the dishes to be cleaned up, then Zip! they're outta there.
I can't stand wondering why someone ignored me the entire frickin year - and suddenly decided that I'm a friend around Christmas. The artifice of the gift exchange reeks of commercialism and many people feel that their actual relationships are diminished by their having to engage in it. Annually they vow that "next year" they will only exchange handmade gifts and gifts costing less than $5 thereby forcing them to become creative and actually focus on the meaning of the celebration instead of the Gift Parade, then feel they failed at it again, and give in for another year.
I can't stand walking through stores - looking at all the crap that I really can't afford. Equally depressing are the other shoppers who are also unable to stand the prices. If kids go along on shopping excursions, they get an eyeful of goodies that leads to your next rational dread.
It's hard to enjoy the glare from my kids that says I didn't get the right thing (maybe they wanted the new Xbox - I got them a Play Station). The pressure is keen on the children as well, to receive "enough" in relation to their peers and their inner expectation. The marketing and social network hype inspires this, so the best of the lean years are when children are very small and have no expectations. Also, the collision of commercialism with the charitable religious message of Christ is confusing and inconsistent, and seems to distort what children are learning from the season.
I can't stand the fact that my parents send me money, instead of visiting me. The ritual of the holidays makes it a hard time of year to travel, parents are sometimes unable to let go of their own nostalgic memories in their own homes, family members miss one another when they're not together, and all of this results in a lot of emotional stress that ends up in a check that is appreciated but feels hollow. Shuffling to and fro can also ruin holidays and even result in disasters while in transit.

For another take on the holidays, I suggest you grab a copy of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation in which Chevy Chase's wife exclaims, "It's Christmas -- so we're all living in misery!" because the various factors can easily combine into a fiasco that anybody would dread.

It's true that Christ was not born on Christmas to the best of our knowledge but this does not mean there is nothing to celebrate on that day. Instead, it is a good time to remember all of the ancient peoples to whom we're connected, who conducted ceremonies at the shortest time of the year so that "The Forces" would make the days longer again, on the theory that otherwise, they might just keep getting smaller and disappear! So even though December 25 is not exactly on the winter solstice, it is close enough for celebration: the days get longer, all's right in the Heavens, and life is proceeding "exactly as it should." For this we can be truly grateful, and thus inspired go on to participate without feeling like phonies.

Or that's my take on it, anyway. lol

It's helping, folks -
thanks.