So what would you do?

There was a really interesting topic of conversation that they had on Mix100 this morning that I thought I'd pose here to you all. A lady called in to ask whether she should tell her husband about something she'd been doing since before they got married.

It turns out that shortly before they were to be married 4 years go, she opened a separate savings account from their joint accounts and has been putting $50 from every paycheck into it ever since. It's now accumulated over $5,000 and she was feeling a little uncomfortable that she hadn't told her husband about this still. Did the viewers think she should tell him, or not?

Here's the back story. When she was younger, her Mom told her after 30+ years of marriage to her father that "had she had just $5,000, she would have left the marriage before then." Her mom urged her to set up a fund so that should she ever need to end a relationship, she wouldn't have to stay because she was financially beholden. If she saved up and could sustain herself for a bit, then it relieves a lot of stress and helps you leave an unhappy situation. When this lady hit that $5K mark, that's when it hit home about her not telling her husband about it yet.

Here's the thing: does having that fund make it easier to end a marriage when things get rocky, as they will in almost every relationship at some point? Or is it smart of women, or anyone for that matter, to have a rainy-day fund and if the relationship continues to thrive, then you can use it for a special anniversary gift decades down the road, or a trip for you both?

For you men out there: does this make you think that your wife has no faith in you or the relationship? Conversely, would you recommend to your daughter that she do this?

BTW, the voting went 6-3 that she not tell her husband yet that she has this separate account. Do you agree and why or why not? Would you do this if you were starting a relationship all over again?

I myself think it's a good idea because I think of all the women out there who are trapped in abusive relationships and how this could save them. For those relationships that make it, it could be a great surprise for an anniversary. Yes, there is a risk that people would jump ship at the first sign of trouble in a relationship rather than working it out, but honestly, would it really negatively affect a relationship of people who truly value one another, or just those who would've quit anyway? Of the few times that my husband and I have been so out of sync that I wasn't sure that we would make it or not, one of those being so bad that I had honestly decided I would rather be miserable and alone than miserable with him, it wasn't a lack of money that made me stick it out and work to fix it, rather it was knowing that I wouldn't find anyone who would ever love me more and I would be resigning myself to a life of settling for less, and it was him deciding to work on it with me to improve it when I confronted him with this choice. We had the hard, brutally honest conversations and made the effort to compromise and give each other what we needed because we wanted to fix it, not because we couldn't afford to separate.

What are your thoughts?