Looking for some advice from anyone who has had to find a companion or full time caregiver for one or both of your parents.
What to look for?
Where to start?
Any help would be appreciated.
you answered a lot of questions becky. we know an excellent place in colorado but it is home with a few others and it is hard to get in.
so since it is a companion, i am not sure i will be of much help.
we had a daytime medical assistant initially but found that it varies quite a bit. there are some very good ones and then not. the best we found was to try one and see how they did. we found that each did better when there was another family member around. we also wanted someone who spoke spanish. my dad is very good with english and spanish but we found when he was not functioning 100% he responded better in his first language. we would watch how they managed him physically and spoke to him.
i am assuming your mom is in or near the city. my dad was out in south park and it was hard to get assistance out when it was really cold or snowy.
we haven't tried a companion, if i understand what you mean by a companion. i am assuming one who has some medical skills? and will be living in? does your mother need assistance? or someone who can pretty much be present? one of our aunts went through her church to find someone to live with her who could just see that she didn't fall down and that she took her meds. they actually watched out for each other. it worked well until she needed more medical assistance, she has diabetes, and then she eventually went to assisted living facility, another one in colorado that i could recommend. she was still able to be on her own to some extent but needed to have someone checking up on her and the medical assistance. it also provided the companionship of many others in the same building which she initially resisted and then came to love.
bumper sticker - honk if you will pay my mortgage
"The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." attributed to Margaret Thatcher
"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government." Thomas Jefferson
Thank you mtntrekker for the good info.
We have been blessed to date with our parents not needing our assistance.
We are unsure of the level of care she is going to need. Rehab is very hard work at 86.
She had a heart attack and then a stroke at the first of the month. Health wise....she is recovering nicely.
We moved her out of the hospital she was in after some serious medication and care issues.
She lost some ground but we have her in a really good facility now.
It's good to know there are neighbors nearby who have been through this and can offer advice and support.
Thank you for that.
I am home for a few days to spend New Years with the family and take care of some business. Was going to head out for Houston yesterday morning but this little storm changed my plans a bit.
Happy New Year everyone.
lol my mom read this thread. we got her off the front page! now if we could only get her to sign in and provide her own comments. she called since i am headed over to clean her driveway to find out what time and to make some comments for me to post. go figure.
she said one her sisters found a good companion at a local senior center in her neighborhood. this is a live in situation. someone there with her. they don't provide any kind of care as that is provided by daytime assistance. but they are there for each other. is that the kind of companion you are looking for or one who can provide more assistance? live in or live out?
bumper sticker - honk if you will pay my mortgage
"The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." attributed to Margaret Thatcher
"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government." Thomas Jefferson
In a perfect world..... I would love to find a retired RN who is widowed who could provide medical attention during the day as well as companionship 24/7.
My Mom has advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis and uses a walker.
She had been driving before the heart attack and stroke but will probably not be able to continue.
So, we will need to have someone drive her to appointments and do some shopping for her.
What did you guys do with valuables in the home or set up a home for someone to move in?
She has a home that is wonderfully suited for an elderly person.
I would love to hear from your Mom on this.
What is important to her or my Mom is the most important to consider.
She has a perspective that I cannot completely understand quite yet.
I truly hope she will sign in and join us here.
Based on her needs, I would suggest a retired RN or a CNA.
Safe deposit box with key in the hands of you or your siblings for valuables; or the key can be kept at some banks.
Is there a spare room in your mom's house? If so, provide the basics - bed, dresser, chair, desk or table. If you are feeling generous, and it is possible, a private bath and a TV. If not, that's ok too.
Check and recheck references and past work history. if they're not telling you good things about the person - by law they can't say anything bad, but a good employee with get praise - then find someone else. Do a background check on the person - crimminal and license. And always trust your gut - if it doesn't feel right, find someone else. If mom hates them, trust that too - it's really a lot like finding good childcare or nannies.
Thx LH.
Very good info.
We do have a spare room, private bath and a private den to offer.
I have spent the last month cleaning stuff out and making room.
Anyone have a good source to do background checks?