A Scientific Dating Insight: Create Uncertainty

Yeah! Torture 'em! I've never been a big fan of being coy and "playing games", but maybe keeping some mystery going for longer might work...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... ting-insig
A Scientific Dating Insight: Create Uncertainty
The aphrodisiac effect of not knowing how much they like you
By Piercarlo Valdesolo | February 8, 2011

But new research into the science of decision making has begun to reveal why playing hard to get might be a viable relationship-building strategy after all. Turns out, across many domains, people are drawn to uncertainty. When we are unsure of an important outcome (like whether he will ever call) we, quite naturally, think about it. Did she lose my number? Maybe he’s just very busy this week. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned my credit card debt. And perhaps the more a potential positive outcome (a date) is on our mind, the more we come to value and desire that outcome.

Erin Whitchurch, Tim Wilson and Dan Gilbert sought to test this possibility in a recent study http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/20 ... 5.abstract published in the journal Psychological Science. They showed female college students the Facebook profiles of four men who they were told had previously looked at, and rated, their own profile. The women were then either told that these were pictures of men who liked them the most, men who rated them as average, or that they were either men who liked them most or rated them as average. Previous research suggests that the women should be most attracted to those men who they know like them. These men were a sure bet for positive reinforcement, and who doesn’t like that? However, the authors’ uncertainty hypothesis predicted that women should be most attracted to those whose feelings they weren’t so sure about.

Indeed, the results confirmed their hypothesis. The women liked these mystery men even more than the men who they knew liked them. Why? Over the course of the 15 minute study the women reported thinking significantly more about them. And when thoughts continuously pop into our heads people tend to construct explanations for why this occurs. So, the best strategy to pique the man or woman of your dreams might be to keep your feelings in the dark.

The catch is that this strategy only works if your target actually likes you.