Sports Jokes.

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS...

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."

Antonio Cromartie Trying To Name All Of His Kids

[youtube:235tlrmj][/youtube:235tlrmj]

He has like four kids that are 3. Everyone loves a train wreck.

I get a kick out of this

[youtube:7jfsbxhx][/youtube:7jfsbxhx]

nutville

I think he's just being honest...When your the baddest man on the planet the women flock around like seagulls to a garbage dump

CG, those are great.

Sports jokes? How about the Broncos?

I love Yogi Bearisms.
"That restaurant is so popular that no one goes there anymore."

SS109 wrote: Sports jokes? How about the Broncos?

I love Yogi Bearisms.
"That restaurant is so popular that no one goes there anymore."

Wouldn't a Yogi Bearism be more like " ... a pic-a-nick basket"?

5 Sports-Themed Halloween Costumes

http://blog.ultimatesportsdecor.com/?p=285

Tim Tebow: Put on his jersey, a helmet, and a cape. Bonus points if you wear a fake muscle suit underneath. Remember - he might as well be Superman.

Kenny Powers: Head over to Amazon.com and pick up a Kenny Powers wig and jersey. Got longer hair? Braid those beautiful locks into cornrows. Carry a baseball and an attitude, complete with lines from East Bound and Down.

Joe Paterno: All you need is a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, a Penn State windbreaker, khakis, and black tennis shoes. Add a bit of baby powder to your hair and you’re set. Oh! And don’t forget to practice the Paterno-isms, like the famous finger wag.

Roger Federer: White headband, white tennis shoes, and an all white sweatsuit. Pencil on some thicker brows and add a tennis racket. You’ll soon be destined for greatness.

Tiger Woods: Nike polo shirt, black pants, Nike cap, and a golf club. An entourage of 8-15 mistresses optional.