The Science of Happiness: Why complaining is literally killing you

Just like the adage, "You are what you eat", it's also possible that "You are what you think." The neurons that fire most are the ones that are strengthened and maintained after they are formed, and continue to survive. This isn't an absolute, as memory neurons can be formed for a single experience and remain coherent to enable recall years later.

In my senior year of high school that there was one girl who came into 1st bell always cheerful: an outgoing, positive-minded, good-natured, morning person. Most teenagers are not morning people; they are sullen, whiny, negative complainers. They feed off one anothers' attitudes, reinforce and try to one-up each other's "bad days". I remember thinking to myself that I really admired that one girl who was unlike everyone else. She brightened the room, and though people gave her crap for being so different and happy, I decided that I was going to change to be more like that. Why be so negative and complain about the same sh** every day? It was boring.

What surprised me was that in the days and weeks after I made that conscious decision, it became easier and easier each day to actually feel positive, not just say it to others. Over time, with my change in mind-set, came a change in my overall feelings and mannerisms too. Today, I am a total morning person - I picked 8:00am classes all the time in college and now can't sleep in later than 6:30/7:00. I am most productive in the morning. I'm grateful that I had a friend who modeled better behavior for me, that I noticed it, and that I made a choice to be different from everyone else and improve myself.

I truly believe that changing my attitude changed my brain wiring, and helped set me on a better course. You hear of testimonials all the time that people with positive attitudes and those who practice mindfulness overcome even serious illnesses such as cancer and auto-immune diseases. The mind is a powerful organ that we've barely begun to understand, but we have so much conscious (and unconscious) control over. It's corny, but not untrue, that you have the power to change your life.

The Science of Happiness: Why complaining is literally killing you.
By Steven Parton, From CuriousApes.com

At the time of this personal discovery, I was pursuing a double-major in Computer Science and Psychology. Aside from these declared interest, I also had an affinity for (Eastern) Philosophy and Neuroscience. This led to semester course load comprising of two 300-level psychology courses, one 300-level philosophy course, and a graduate-level artificial intelligence course for both biology and computer science majors. This amalgamation of studies quickly tore my brain into a dozen directions, and when I put the pieces back together, I found myself resolute with rational reasons for optimism and for removing from my life the people who liked to complain.

1. “Synapses that fire together wire together.”
2. Shortest Path Wins the Race.
3. Acceptance vs Regret, Drift vs Desire, Love Vs Fear.
4. Mirror-Neurons.
5. Stress will kill you.

The universe is chaotic, from unpreventable superstorms of wind and rain, to unpredictable car accidents or to the capricious whims of our peers whose personal truths even have the ability to emotionally damage or physically hurt others. And every moment holds the potential to bring you any one of these things, any shade along the gradient of spirit-soaring bliss and soul-crushing grief.

But regardless of what it brings your way, your choice is simple: Love or Fear. And yes, I understand it’s hard to find happiness on those nights when you feel like you’re all alone in the world, when a loved one passes, when you fail that test or get fired from that job; But when these moments come, you do not have to live in regret of them, you don’t have to give them constant negative attention and allow them to reshape your brain...

What you can do is say; “Yes, this sucks. But what’s the lesson? What can I take away from this to make me a better person? How can I take strength from this and use it to bring me closer to happiness in my next moment?”