OK, I said yes, but now, I say NO

OK, I said yes, but now, I say NO

By Dr. Mike Brooks

We need to be available for those who are brokenhearted and down and out. Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to give someone an encouraging word, to provide them with a ray of hope? Your words of hope and actions can lift someone out of despair and depression.

I remember, as a 17-year-old, being asked to help an older man move his furniture from his home on the south side of Chicago (Park Forest, IL). This man saw that I had an old Ford pickup truck in the parking lot of Rudy’s grocery store. He followed me while I was walking back to my truck with my mom’s groceries from Rudy’s grocery store. He was an older man, and as we talked by my truck, he said he’d pay cash to anyone who could help that Saturday morning in November.

I agreed to meet him at his house. He gave me his address, and I said, "I’ll see you Saturday morning." I showed up with three of my friends at 10:00 AM, as planned, and we waited for him. A middle-aged woman, wearing a blue turban and a bathrobe, opened the door and asked what we were doing at her home. I told her that I was hired, along with my friends, to help move some furniture out of the house. When I said that, she had an outburst of anger at me as well as my friends; she started yelling and telling me that her good-for-nothing, soon-to-be ex-husband was removing their furniture without a court order.

As a seventeen-year-old, I was shocked when she unloaded on my friends and me. I had no clue what was going on. The woman was hurting and angry because she was going through a divorce, she said, and she also shared that she had cancer, too. She explained that her cancer sent her husband over the edge, and he filed for divorce after learning she had cancer. I knew the ravages of cancer as my mother and brother had cancer. When he showed up 15 minutes later, I confronted him, asking if what his wife had said was true about their divorce and her having cancer, and he said yes, but the furniture was his, and he wanted it out of the house!

I looked at my friends and then at him and said, " Let's go, I can’t do this. We all heard about the woman’s painful story, and how he responded. At that point, I wanted nothing to do with moving his furniture, and I wanted no part of what this guy was doing to his wife. I went up to her and said, that I am so sorry that you're going through this divorce. I hope you get better. If you need any help, my friends and I are available. When I walked past this guy, I just stared at him. He looked at me, then down at his feet; did he feel guilty about his actions? Who knows, but, I wanted no part of what he was doing.

When we are confronted with situations like the one I encountered, sometimes just a simple word goes a long way. Always be aware of people who are hurting. Hope can come in many forms; hope can be that kind of encouragement; it can be something you do for someone, like a gift card for groceries, running errands, or visiting someone who has been ill. A check-in phone call. Yes, hope can take many forms and benefit those in need.