Living an Inspired Life

ComputerBreath wrote: Most people can't even name the emotions...I learned there are six: Lonely (this one is disputed, but it is what I learned), Sad, Happy, Fear, Anger, & Shame...and it took a lot of counseling for me to be able to say how I was feeling versus what I was thinking.

I also learned which parts of the body each of these emotions will affect and what happens when someone in a group setting doesn't feel the emotion that is there.

And the two most important things I learned...no one can "make" you feel...saying someone makes you sad or angry gives up your own power to someone else. Also, feelings/emotions are not good or bad, negative or positive...they just are.

Never thought I'd find emotions such interesting reading, but it is enlightening to understanding what makes you tick and being able to communicate your feelings. I too have spent years in counseling to learn what I know at this point. As your post elucidates for me my learning has plenty of ignorance to overcome, but that is what makes it fun and rewarding. Thanks for sharing your insights.

LopingAlong wrote:

ComputerBreath wrote: Most people can't even name the emotions...I learned there are six: Lonely (this one is disputed, but it is what I learned), Sad, Happy, Fear, Anger, & Shame...and it took a lot of counseling for me to be able to say how I was feeling versus what I was thinking.

I also learned which parts of the body each of these emotions will affect and what happens when someone in a group setting doesn't feel the emotion that is there.

And the two most important things I learned...no one can "make" you feel...saying someone makes you sad or angry gives up your own power to someone else. Also, feelings/emotions are not good or bad, negative or positive...they just are.

CB, could you share with us what you learned regarding which body parts each emotion will affect? Or where the info is so I could read it? And by any chance, is there anything written about the emotion that we feel when we feel Love? You know, that serene that fills you and makes you focus on only the being that you are loving? Not sure that makes sense, but it is an emotion (I think) that I've never heard a name for. Happy comes closest, but there's more to it.
Thanks in advance!

LA: When I was at the beginning stages of my "re-learning" about emotions during group counseling sessions, I was given the opportunity to take a full session and relate what to me was a "story"...but it was real and happened to me. I was told to stop telling my story about 5 minutes into it and then the group facilitator asked the other group members what they felt and saw as I was relating this story. For 16 years I had related it the same way...as if telling a fairy-tale or reading a children's horror story. I was also asked what I was feeling and where. This was the first time I had ever been given the chance to figure out where on my body I was feeling what I was feeling. It was quite enlightening.

I was in pain, part of feeling sad...and wasn't allowing myself to feel the pain...the group facilitator said I was "in my head". When she stopped me from telling my tale, she made me put both my feet flat on the ground in front of me and put my hands palm down on my thighs (I was sitting down) and then she told me to take some deep breaths and tell her where on my body I was feeling anything. My chest was tight and the area behind my eyes was prickling, like I had snorted soda-pop up my nose. I was told that I had these sensations because I was repressing or trying to keep my pain at bay...once I let myself cry (which is what is supposed to happen when a person is sad or in pain), the tightness in my chest dissolved as did the prickling behind my eyes. What a liberating experience! So that answers the where on your body is sad/pain felt.

Shame: When the eyes are downcast and you can't or won't look at anyone.

Fear: A lot of times fear manifests itself in the gut/stomach area.

Anger: Clenching of fists, tightening of the mouth, actually clenching or tightening of the whole body.

Lonely: In the chest/heart area, but in me that feeling is more empty than the tightness in the chest I feel when I'm sad.

Happy: Again, when someone is happy it manifests itself in the whole body...but mostly in the face.

Each person is different, so what I've said is a guideline and may not be what happens to others. Also, I am not a trained professional...what I know, I know from experience.

Besides me and the group facilitator, there were 4 or 5 other women in the group, and every single one of them had tears in their eyes and all of them related that they were feeling immense pain/sadness because I wasn't allowing myself to feel any. Even the group facilitator had tears in her eyes...she called it "overflow" because it was overflowing from me to everyone else in the room.

I learned that feeling Loved or feeling Love is part of Happy (as is feeling content), just as pain is part of sad, and rage is part of fear and anger. I agree, the love feeling is way more serene then happy. There are differing levels of each emotion, almost like different hues of color.

I do not know where our group facilitator got her information. Though I do know she was a social worker by trade and had worked in many different capacities, drug/alcohol counseling, group counseling, one-on-one counseling, etc. And since that time, I have only heard one other person talk about "the" feelings and identifying emotions, and he too, was a social worker.

I was also taught that a lot of times anger is a cover-up for what people think are "negative" emotions...sad/pain, shame, and fear mostly...and once you get past the anger, the "real" emotion comes out.

Hope I've answered your questions and/or given you some insight.

CB, thank you so much for the detailed answer. I've often identified emotion in my own body and know where they manifest mostly and wondered if it was something that eveyone knew. Your post prompted me to ask and I sure appreciate your response!

When I work with horses, I try to simplify things for them and for me so that it's easy for both of us to understand. In so doing, about 20 years ago, I thought I'd had an "ah-ha" moment when it dawned on me that every single emotion can be boiled down to only one of two emotions--Fear and Love (Love also equals trust, but that's not a real emotion, right?)

I also put the emotions into positive and negative connotations and then realized that it didn't help anything since no emotion should be considered negative, but rather a crying out, if you will. For example, I put anger as a negative, Fear emotion and tried not to feel that. But the fact is, sometimes, until I'm angry enough, I don't make changes I need to, so I changed that around in my head to be a good emotion, but one that needs to be handed out in private if possible. (Now, the balance is better, but back then, I tried to always smile and be nice and not stir the waters and that sure isn't good either.)

I watched the fear that horses demonstrate and know that in that emotional state, they simply are not able to learn, but that their fear was and is a primal, integrated part of who and what they are. I don't need to make them be any different, I need to help them want to not be fearful--which is actually easier than I thought it would be since fear is an energey drainer and horses sure like to conserve theirs. So until I figure a way to help them cross over into Love (trust) there is no point in going forward. I believe that any of us, whether we have two legs or four, can only be in one state at a time, though we can flip so quickly that it can be hard to tell wihich one is dominant and any given moment.

Well, after that epiphany, I know I became a better teacher and trainer and I really thought I was unique and onto something. Turns out people have known this for centuries, but for me it was brand new. I still believe this idea as it has paid off thousands of times in thousands of ways with both the two-leggeds and the fours.

Thanks again, this is an interesting thread indeed, and I'm happy that you found your way too!

Create consciously
"No man has a chance to enjoy permanent success until he begins to look in a mirror for the real cause of all his mistakes."
-- Napoleon Hill
The law of karma is the law of cause and effect. It works unavoidably when there is no consciousness -- when we are not present in the moment. When there is no consciousness, the past creates the future.
The law of Love supersedes the law of karma. It intervenes in the process by focusing in the present. In fact, one could say that Love is being fully present. When anything is initiated in Love in the present, the future of that reality will be purposeful, meaningful, loving and powerful.
"He who is false to present duty breaks a thread in the loom, and will find the flaw when he may have forgotten its cause."
--Henry Ward Beecher
"In my beginning is my end."
-- T.S. Eliot
When you think everything is someone else´s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy. Pride leads to violence and evil. The truly good gaze upon everything with love and understanding. - Dalai Lama

Joy

Your purpose in life is the expression of soul qualities which bring joy and happiness. When you are doing something that you think you should be doing as part of your life's purpose and you do not feel joy in it, or it does not take you out of your personality, then you have to question if this is what you ought to be doing. Reflect on something you are doing in your life and ask yourself if it really is aligned with what is most appropriate for you?

YOU matter -

Every day is a gift, Every day is a blessing. What matters at the end of the day is that we were able to make someone’s day better, help them on their path to happiness and make them smile. Telling someone that they matter, being cherished, wanted and loved and to never forget that is an incredible gift we can give that does not cost us anything else but an open heart.

Love and light - Namaste

Sacred Relationships/Spiritual Community …

… are very important for our growth. Most of the time we don’t find it in our biological families therefore we must find it through people/special relationships elsewhere.
By creating and attracting those sacred relationships into our lives, we will give each other the space to grow and heal and feel safe expressing who we really are.
Make a commitment to one another to be there and stick out the tough times, to honor and respect and speak the truth, even when it hurts; to share joy and happiness;
Creating treasured moments.

Namaste

Fear of change ...can cause us to resist the very thing that would avoid the crisis. Most of us are afraid of change; resistance may be an attempt to avoid the frustration/disappointment/fear of not being able to accomplish/receive the object/situation related to change as well as fear of the unknown.

Resisting change means resisting the flow of life. Accepting change means to trust the flow of life and to open the door for magic to happen. Life is based on transformation. Seeing life through the eyes of love, trust, compassion and forgiveness for yourself, others, the situation allows blessings for our highest good to enter our lives.

~ When we keep doing what we’ve always done, we’ll get the results we’ve always gotten. (BL Bateman)

Namaste

Appreciation = The highest form of achieving as Thich Nhat Hanh states
“When you breathe in be aware of breathing in – when you breathe out be aware of breathing out”.
Simple mindfulness in every moment of our lives can lead us to deep appreciation.
Being appreciative for everything we encounter is so very important
– there is a reason for it even if we don’t see or understand it at the moment.
Appreciate the people in your life, the lessons you learn through them,
the gifts you receive through the blessing of their presence on your life path.
Look around you and notice things as if it was the first time you see them.
Appreciation leads to Gratitude to Joy to Happiness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfKigD3v ... ture=share

My favorite song and mantra. This video is gorgeous too. I makes every cell in my body happy. Here is what it means: Oh God, the Protector, the basis of all life, Who is self-existent, Who is free from all pains and Whose contact frees the soul from all troubles, Who pervades the Universe and sustains all, the Creator and Energizer of the whole Universe, the Giver of happiness, Who is worthy of acceptance, the most excellent, Who is Pure and the Purifier of all, let us embrace that very God, so that He may direct our mental faculties in the right direction.