National Barack Channel interrupts the Golf championship for a speech on Irene Hurricane preparations. "I want to thank everyone for being prepared for this storm by waiting for FEMA to assist our fellow Americans," said Obama. "It appears that there will be no Christmas in August from the looting. Therefore, I have directed FEMA to start writing disaster checks and passing out gift cards compliments of Irene."
"This storm has taken lives and it's still a dangerous storm." said Obama.
"Most of the deaths have been from fallen trees. I have asked FEMA, Homeland Security, and the Department of Interior to being immediate eradication of trees older than 20 years to be removed and ship the wood to China" said Obama
"Furthermore, I have directed the Department of Education to start feeding all inner city kids immediately." said Obama.
