Child Abuse

Here's a story that does a much better job of describing how even parents who do exactly what any other parent would do when first confronted with this situation trying to get their child to conform to conventional norms, in the end, it sometimes is inevitable that adaptation and change are necessary. These parents did less harm to their daughter by allowing her her choice than if they'd continued to insist that she ignore that which she held true to herself. And this doesn't just happen in unconventional families - the father here is an Air Force vet and former Republican.

It's a long article, which is why I have more quoted than normal, but it covers viewpoints from a doctor who is a critic and as well as the doctor who helped them, gos into detail about the treatment and how it is reversible in the beginning and patients and families are continually re-evaluated psychologically to see if this is truly their path forward, and permanent treatments don't start until they reach puberty and have sometimes had years to think about this. Surgery isn't an option until patients turn 18 and become legal adults.

These aren't willy-nilly, hasty decisions made by these patients and families, they've undergone much soul-searching, suffered harassment and ostracizing, and yet still choose what they believe is the best path for them, despite the persecution and misunderstanding (it was sad to read the change in towns peoples' behaviors from initial unequivocal acceptance of Nicole to near-shunning), and they aren't decisions that are forced upon families as they are constantly asked if this is truly what they want and they can stop at any time - they have free will and choice, constrained only by what their biology tells them. As deeply as you or I know that we are who we are, transgenders feel as strongly that they weren't given the body to match who they are; it would be easy if life were black and white but it just isn't.

Please read this family's journey - it sounds like one that could happen to any of us and would you have the courage to make the choices that they did? I know I'm not sure if I could and handle it with the strength and courage that they have.

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/ ... ?page=full
Led by the child who simply knew
The twin boys were identical in every way but one. Wyatt was a girl to the core, and now lives as one, with the help of a brave, loving family and a path-breaking doctor’s care.
By Bella English
Globe Staff / December 11, 2011

Nicole Maines, 14, her twin brother, Jonas, and their parents have traveled a long, trying road. (Suzanne Kreiter/Globe Staff)

Jonas and Wyatt Maines were born identical twins, but from the start each had a distinct personality. Wayne and Kelly Maines have struggled to know whether they are doing the right things for their children, especially for Wyatt, who now goes by the name Nicole. Was he merely expressing a softer side of his personality, or was he really what he kept saying: a girl in a boy’s body? Was he exhibiting early signs that he might be gay? Was it even possible, at such a young age, to determine what exactly was going on?

When Wyatt and Jonas were born, their father was thrilled. They had no preparation for what would come next. When Wyatt was 4, he asked his mother: “When do I get to be a girl?’’ He told his father that he hated his penis and asked when he could be rid of it. Both father and son cried. “Even when we did all the boy events to see if she would ‘conform,’ she would just put her shirt on her head as hair, strap on some heels and join in,’’ Kelly says.

Wayne was nervous. Could he call his son Nicole? At first, though, he couldn’t bring himself to use the new name. An Air Force veteran and former Republican, he realizes now he was grieving the loss of a son. “But once you get past that, I realize I never had a son,’’ he says.

Not everyone agrees that they should, of course, and Spack has heard the arguments: Man should not interfere with what God has wrought. Each patient must have been in therapy with someone familiar with transgender issues and who writes a letter recommending the treatment. The child’s family also must undergo extensive psychological testing before and during treatment. And the patient must be in the early stage of puberty, before bodily changes are noticeable.

The effects of the blockers - an injection given monthly to prevent the gonads from releasing the unwanted hormones - are reversible; patients can stop taking them and go through puberty as their biological sex. This is critical, Spack says, because a “very significant number of children who exhibit cross-gender behavior’’ before puberty “do not end up being transgender.’’