Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object

Sometimes the Onion's fake stories are actually more telling about America than the mainstream ones.

FredHayek wrote: Sometimes the Onion's fake stories are actually more telling about America than the mainstream ones.

I agree. That's why we have too many dumb stories like this:

Only two people in the world are insane enough to get plastic surgery to look like Ken and Barbie. And surprise! They hate each other! Valeria Lukyanova, 23, has the freakish proportions of Barbie, and Justin Jedlica, 32, has Ken's trademark jawline. But when the pair met in New York for a photo shoot, they took an instant dislike to each other, slinging insults in each other's artificial faces. "Much of her look is added makeup, fake hair and slimming corsets. Drag queens have put on the same illusions for years," crowed Justin, to which Valerie frostily replied, "He overdid his lips." Looks like someone is no longer welcome at the Dreamhouse

I mean ... look at these sad individuals: http://now.msn.com/valeria-lukyanova-an ... human-form

We have more fake women today than any other time in history and the cosmetic surgeons and the hair bleaching companies are loving the profits they are making from all the ridiculous advertising out there selling to women what the ideal woman should look like. No thanks ... I'll take real any day. I hardly ever see any beautiful white brunette girls or even red heads anymore. They all have gone and bleached their hair some white or yellow hue.

archer wrote: I suppose this would not be the thread to boast that my 9 yr old granddaughter has a job modeling for a company that markets temporary tattoos to young girls. She has been photographed for magazine and online marketing.....we're hoping for a TV ad soon.....and, of course, all the free temporary tattoos she wants.

Your timing is perfect. Your comment just goes to prove the reality behind The Onions cutting satire. Sad.

The Liberals GOP Twin wrote:

archer wrote: I suppose this would not be the thread to boast that my 9 yr old granddaughter has a job modeling for a company that markets temporary tattoos to young girls. She has been photographed for magazine and online marketing.....we're hoping for a TV ad soon.....and, of course, all the free temporary tattoos she wants.

Your timing is perfect. Your comment just goes to prove the reality behind The Onions cutting satire. Sad.

:faint:

We need to have a perpetual Onion thread... there's some hilarious stuff there but I'm too lazy to look for the good ones. This is one of the first Onion articles I read back in the 90s. Still cracks me up today because it mocks the the way Americans tend to over eat.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-hi ... an-sw,480/

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ–The act of swallowing will soon be easier for millions of food-shoveling Americans, thanks to QX-1, a revolutionary new high-viscosity/low-friction mayonnaise developed by scientists at Hellmann's.

"Americans' high-load, high-capacity eating puts a tremendous amount of stress on the alimentary canal," Hellmann's mayochemical engineer Gerald Lund said. "Often, when the canal is overtaxed, it can 'seize up,' resulting in choking and, in some cases, total eater breakdown. QX-1 was formulated with today's harder-working ingestion in mind."

And then there's this

"What's more," Lund said, "QX-1 helps carry away the harmful particles–such as sesame seeds, chicken bones and plastic-fork tines–that can cause major wear and tear on heavy-duty eaters."

Hellmann's officials said the new product was developed in response to the nation's dwindling Chews-Per-Bite Ratio.

I dare you to read the whole article without laughing Sorry to go off topic... couldn't resist.

The Onion even manages to fool foreign goverments.

But still my favorite, "JK Rowling Discovers Boys" No more writing about unicorns, centaurs and a school of magic.