HUMOR FROM OKLAHOMA

Lol, it’s pretty funny until I think about some Dipshit spraying their kid.

OK THEN, since we r talking about bears...there is a book called 'OUTHOUSES OF ALASKA"....pictures of
outrageous outhouses,some cool,some a catastrophe. It also has tall tales of EXPERIENCES in the outhouses. TRUE tale....my bothers closest cabin mate is about 5 miles up the river.

ONE weekend the whole family gathered to celebrate an event and breakfast was cooked....bunches of bacon was on the menu. Starting cleaning up after breakfast,the bacon grease (a BIG skillet full) was dumped into the outhouse and forgot about. Next morning,.mother nature called for one of the sisters......
pants down,comfortable position found,looking at magazine.....hm-m-m, some sound coming from below,
listening alert.....grunting and lots of activity,THEN a wet nose was noticed! SPEEDY exit out the door,pants still down, tripping down the path to the cabin and screaming BEAR,BEAR...THERE IS A BEAR UNDERNEATH THE OUTHOUSE.

RULE number one in the woods....ice or freeze all food waste for pack out.. They knew this, just messy mistake.

LOL! That sounds like a heart attack for most people, especially tourist who haven't spent time in bear country for very long. I saw a lot of grizzlies in Kodiak but never got closer than about 50 yards.

OK THEN, since it is a "bear market"...here's another bruin true tale.....my brother's cabin has a very large picture window in "great room".

there r two spruce trees in front of window, with a hammock for leisure viewing of the river. A yearling cub
wanders thru the property and finds the hammock,goes "WHAT IS THIS?". Walks around it,comes to the front(by the window)and puts one fury foot into the netting,BAM,the hammock flips and bear goes down,he gets back up,repeats the same steps.almost gets his other front foot in,it flips again...this goes on for 15 minutes or so.....UNTIL bear is truly bummed and proceeds to rip the hammock to shreds.....my brother is
watching the whole thing from his recliner....MADE HIS DAY.

I think bears are just like big dogs that could rip your face off if they wanted to. That said, I'd much rather live around bears than the criminals that are expanding their territory into my neighborhood.

I was using the outhouse on a very cold evening in South Park. The internal plumbing had frozen. Opened the door and saw a giant Pack Rat with my flashlight sitting on the seat. He quickly jumped down the hole. For some reason, I no longer had to go to the bathroom after that