Stop the chocolate chip cookies! Hold the pizza! Bill could quash school bake sales
WASHINGTON - Don't touch my brownies! A child nutrition bill on its way to President Barack Obama — and championed by the first lady — gives the government power to limit school bake sales and other fundraisers that health advocates say sometimes replace wholesome meals in the lunchroom.
Republicans, notably Sarah Palin, and public school organizations decry the bill as an unnecessary intrusion on a common practice often used to raise money.
"This could be a real train wreck for school districts," Lucy Gettman of the National School Boards Association said Friday, a day after the House cleared the bill. "The federal government should not be in the business of regulating this kind of activity at the local level."
As a fat, constipated, overweight American, I'm deeply offended by this affront to my precious personal freedoms. Future generations of hideously fat American young will surely thank me for my courageous stand.
You can have my brownie when you pry it from my dead, bloated, chocolate covered fingers.
:chocolate: