A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads

15 Dec 2010 10:42 #1 by outdoor338
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:


'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.


Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.


After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for
your gender.'


************ ********* *********
MALE PROCEDURE:
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6 Put window up.
7 Drive off.
************ ********* ********* *
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!


1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine..
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook..
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet..
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23 Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

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15 Dec 2010 11:12 #2 by Travelingirl
hey...I resemble that! :wave:

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15 Dec 2010 11:28 #3 by outdoor338
No, not you TG, you wouldn't do this would you? :VeryScared: :thumbsup: :biggrin: :wave:

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15 Dec 2010 11:58 #4 by Local_Historian
Wait, did I get a sex change?

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15 Dec 2010 12:01 #5 by Travelingirl
Well numbers 14 & 18 for sure!!

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15 Dec 2010 16:12 #6 by Nmysys
I'm not going to touch this one. Have a nice day!

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15 Dec 2010 23:33 #7 by Residenttroll returns
I think I saw that sign in the bank the other day...except it was in Spanish.

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16 Dec 2010 06:29 #8 by LOL
That was funny Outdoor, thanks! :)

If you want to be, press one. If you want not to be, press 2

Republicans are red, democrats are blue, neither of them, gives a flip about you.

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16 Dec 2010 08:33 #9 by mtntrekker
lol yep we rate, now get used to it! at least i didn't back into you in the process.

bumper sticker - honk if you will pay my mortgage

"The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." attributed to Margaret Thatcher

"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government." Thomas Jefferson

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