How normal people deal with bullying

Baileyboy wrote:

CinnamonGirl wrote:



BB I wonder why you have no arguments just insults? Weak mind?

Are you ever on the current page? Seems like its always a day late and a dollar short. Why do you never read the entire thread so you have a modicum of knowledge about what is being discussed, before assuming? Weak mind?[url=http://www.dogproductshop.co.uk:34nz8gq9]

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Once again, not one intelligible remark about the current subject, just about me.

I have been through the school system with my kids and I have seen the "well I had to do it when I was a kid, so what" defense. These are the same defenses I have seen when kids are drinking and driving. And drinking in college. Now, colleges take pride on their ability to be on the best party schools list so they can get more students. Drinking is more important than studying.

I am in no way advocating telling adult citizens what to do but culture and society make a big impact on adults and people. Teachers and adults should not be treating children like little adults they should be 'teaching". There is a huge difference. And children depend on us adults to protect them. Treating them like adults is confusing and I feel down right abusive and damaging.

Do you think it is okay to just stand back and play Switzerland when a bully is beating up on someone that appears to not be able to defend themselves? I can't and won't. Look at all the uprisings lately against bullying in governments. It is the bugs life story. I have been telling that story for years and it is starting to come true.

If you want to make a difference I don't think you treat children like adults, turn a blind eye, take away happy meals etc. You talk about it and let the people make a choice but SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Let society make changes naturally by talking about it.

A very similar concept is our forum compared to 'some' others. We talk it out and call each other out if needed but we don't lock you out and freeze the problem in time or tell you what to do. Take what you need and leave the rest.

And sorry BB you are a product of the above. I am guessing you have been banned from every forum in the lower 48. But you are still here and believe it or not I think that is a good thing.

Now if there becomes a law about bullying I would be opposed to that. Way too subjective to make a law about it. Just like abortion. I don't believe it should be legal but there just isn't any other way.

BB, could you debate this and not call me a name? I would love to hear what you think.

Quite simple CG. Let kids defend themselves when they are attacked. More than half the problem stems from the libs that run the schools. The kids fear what will happen to them if they retaliate more than they fear the bullying. Namely because most of the school administrations are more inept than WWF officials during a tagteam match. I as an adult can use deadly force to defend myself if I am attacked, but if a kid in school tries to defend himself or herself the scum that run the schools treat the victim with more contempt than the criminal. They go so far as to drag in dickheads like that idiot storey in Jeffco prosecutor's office who thrives on making crimminals of American children while looking the other way at the real crimes committed by illegals on a daily basis.

Bullies have been around since the beginning of time. It is all about establishing a pecking order. It is as much a part of human society as it is in a herd of elephant, or a pack of wolves. It is up to the other members of the group or pack to stand up or cower. It has worked for millennia, now libs somehow think they are going to change nature. How arrogant. And the audacity to punish the victim for defending themselves only proves how sick these people really are.

I went to West Jeff Elementary and Jr High in the 70s and remember getting a vented paddle across my ass from Mr. Teasly for nailing a kid in the head with a chalk board eraser. I also remember being a pretty good kid from then on...thanks Mr T!

But of course now you can't even look at a little bastard sideways without hurting feelings or getting heat from parents (who most likely don't know how to discipline the little sh**s).

I was bullied. But my younger brother had it far worse than I. I was a tiny little bond haired girly girl and my brother was this stocky big boy's boy...when the older boys started picking on my brother I would grab him by his hand and basically drag him away from them and home. I called their bluff and they backed off...and a few of them even started respecting me as I got older. I learned that ignoring the bully and walking away was the best defense for me. And it worked. Sometimes these bullys would try to make me do something or try to scare me into it...and while I was shaking in my little girl shoes...I never let on and just walked away.

I taught my children to stand up for those that couldn't stick up for themselves...but I also taught them that fighting was the last resort. And if you had to fight...make the other person throw the first punch and then lay them out flat with your punch...then walk away.

I do not believe that the government can regulate morality...and most of the bullies I knew did it because they were bullied at home (read abused) or because they weren't taught any better by their parents.

Funny...when I think of those that bullied us when we were younger most of them are druggies, alcoholics, in jail, or dead.

ComputerBreath wrote: I do not believe that the government can regulate morality...and most of the bullies I knew did it because they were bullied at home (read abused) or because they weren't taught any better by their parents.

Which is why I believe that stopping the bullying starts at home....we need to educate parents as much as we do the children. But some just don't care.

By the time a parent has kids in school, I think it's too late to educate them (the parents). If a kid is a repeat bully, he should get suspended and if the bullying continues, expelled. Then the parents can deal with the problem instead of the school.

I was bullied in junior high. Kid behind me used to shove my desk (you remember those desk chairs)until I couldn't hold it anymore, and it slammed into the back of the kid in front of me, one of the bully's cronies, which caused even more problems for me. One day, I snapped. After this chair shoving occured that day, I reached down, grabbed the leg of his desk and flipped the jerk over. I also ran out of the class immediately after. Note, I was not quite 5 feet tall, and maybe 80 lbs - a thin little thing. the bully was taller and much heavier, yet I dumped him on his back. One of my other teachers caught me and calmed me down (the teacher whose class this happened in was too busy screaming at the rest of the class), and I never got in trouble for that - the bully and his cronies did.

My son was also bullied in elementary school -he was rather tiny and skinny - until he hauled off and belted the one bully, showing them he was not a weakling as they asserted. My son also did not get in trouble, because the teacher was aware of the bullying.

As a teacher of the hormone years, I put myself between many kids as fights started, and I got bullies out of my class and the halls as soon as I saw them starting their crap - I have never had tolerance for bullying, because of my own experience with months and months of it before I snapped.

But I was an exception. And I've never understood why so many teachers turn a blind eye to the bullies, and like a case that's been on the news lately, I've seen the kids who were bullied get punished, like they started it by merely existing.

Yes, I've been through what I would actually call waste of time 'training" on bullying - the training was wasted on teachers who already didn't tolerate bullies, or who couldn't care less. And frankly, the 'training' was pretty mamby pamby - all touchy feely, can't hurt the bully's feelings stuff and my entire department was very baffled at by it. We all agreed bullies should reap what they sow.

I'm still baffled by this approach - pamper the bullies, punish the bullied, or ignore it all. I wish I knew what to about that, besides be an advocate for any bullied kid who does decide to stop taking it and strike back.

CriticalBill wrote: I went to West Jeff Elementary and Jr High in the 70s and remember getting a vented paddle across my ass from Mr. Teasly for nailing a kid in the head with a chalk board eraser. I also remember being a pretty good kid from then on...thanks Mr T!
But of course now you can't even look at a little bastard sideways without hurting feelings or getting heat from parents (who most likely don't know how to discipline the little sh**s).

Ditto! CriticalBill, but"T" I was in Califorina in Jr High, and my parents punishment was a month of doing all the dishes (I really didn't like that) and ended up doing dishes for 4 months (during the Frick'in summer) after that I never got another swap! (never got caught either)
Did get suspended for taking booze to school in San Diego, during a “surprise locker inspection”, (Thank GOD they didn’t fine the pot, which was under the booze). But that's not bullying is it, that's being an entepreneur & capitalist. :Whistle

CriticalBill wrote:

By the time a parent has kids in school, I think it's too late to educate them (the parents). If a kid is a repeat bully, he should get suspended and if the bullying continues, expelled. Then the parents can deal with the problem instead of the school.

Oh, that will solve everything. Since the parents didn't handle it in the beginning, they certainly aren't going to handle it when the kid is expelled. The kid then starts (or continues more so) to break the law, ending up in our courts and jails.

BB, I would expect a troll (internet bully) to say what you did. Watching this from afar and saying nothing is just cowardly. Saying "let them defend themselves, I see nothing wrong with it" is as well. I am sorry it is just not in me to do that.

I am not going to say I am right but I will NEVER just act like it doesn't matter. I never did with my children. My kids couldn't even wrap their heads around what half of their classmates did. It was not even part of something they would ever consider. Is it a coincidence that my kids never got into trouble in school? And were very good students? They were bullied a bit. But I can tell you their principles did not allow them be mean back just because they were treated poorly. They would rather be beat up then bully back. It is not in us.