Life is just 'Ducky'

26 Jun 2010 18:27 #1 by ShilohLady
'LIFE' THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY'


I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.




Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.







How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?






Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.






I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!






When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'






Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.





Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!





Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!!!!!!!






Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.






Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!!






Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -
and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'






And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.


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26 Jun 2010 18:35 #2 by jf1acai
Replied by jf1acai on topic Life is just 'Ducky'
How True!!

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again - Jeanne Pincha-Tulley

Comprehensive is Latin for there is lots of bad stuff in it - Trey Gowdy

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26 Jun 2010 21:40 #3 by Rockdoc
Replied by Rockdoc on topic Life is just 'Ducky'
I like these.

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26 Jun 2010 22:01 #4 by djpenguin
Replied by djpenguin on topic Life is just 'Ducky'
:8/10: Those are good

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27 Jun 2010 08:58 #5 by Sunshine Girl
Replied by Sunshine Girl on topic Life is just 'Ducky'
Those were HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! I especially love the one about choosing a President/Miss America. Great stuff and thanks for sharing. :biggrin:

" I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. " Mae West

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