Single?

Every point you make jflacai, rings true - you've had the experience of being married for 25 years and have felt the warm fuzzies of volunteering - fantastic, you have contrast in experience to live by,

also, what AM is experiencing rings truth; being held in your loved ones embrace, sharing a meal with easy conversation, taking a walk under the moon, sharing silence, laughter & intimacy is also fantastic -

Balance, again is the key, and gratitude for what we have, and can give,

The loneliest I ever felt was during my very short marriage. And after that disaster, I decided that I was never going to put myself through that amount of and kind of pain ever again...and I wasn't going to subject my children to witness their mother in that kind of destructive relationship ever again.

Do I miss having someone there to hold me when I need or want to be held? Sure.
Do I miss having someone just to talk with about things, material and immaterial, important and not-so-important? Sure.

Do I enjoy not having to share the TV? Yep.
Do I enjoy not having "discussions" (I try not to argue, and if there is a disagreement, keeping it at the discussion level tends to keep the raised voices at a lower pitch) about things? Sometimes.
Do I miss not having a helping hand around the house so I'm not responsible for everything? Absolutely.

In my world, because I've witnessed so many destructive relationships between people that supposedly love each other, I'm a little cynical about the whole love and warm fuzzies.

I'm fairly content being where I am at the moment...not attached to anyone. Will I be this content in 6 months or sometime in the future? Who knows. I just take it one day at a time and enjoy that I'm alive and have a decent life.

Wow! Great responses! Special thanks to Rockdoc, Sunshine, and Mountaingirl! Very inspiring messages indeed.

It is only hard for me because I think my lifestyle does not fit the style of my generation. Generally people my age have a desire to be in the action of the city and need convenience as well. I personally do not care for a busy night life and city convenience.
It seems everyone I meet is already married or in a serious relationship. These encounters give me the sense I am doing something wrong for finding "the one" to share my life experiences with. I normally do not have a problem with being single but it just seems I do not have much choice unless I make a big change in my life. It is almost like waiting for a relationship to fall in my lap.
I will wait and see. I have been doing it for years. I'm proud to live where I do and I will not give that up easily.
I truly believe that is why I'm single.
Wonderful input!
Oh, perhaps I can help push destiny in a direction that will bring good for myself and people around me. Your essay sounds awesome Sunshine! Thanks for sharing. :thumbsup:

Thanks Mike! It will happen and I wouldn't give up where I live for anything!

AlpineMike wrote: Doing what? I have yet to visit an airport located in the mountains.

Airports in the mountains -

Aspen
Durango
Eagle
Loveland
Gunnison
Telluride
Rifle
Paonia
Saguache
Crested Butte
Leadville
Granby


I would add Montrose, but they're pretty well on a high mountain plain. Bunch more on what I would consider mountain plains areas, so I didn't list them.

Happy hunting!

And you're just not looking at the right marriages. If you find those where they people can have friends, interests and hobbies of their own as well as those they share with spouse, then they have healthy relationships.

Spouse and I have been married 20 years now, and while it is not always perfection, it is still strong.

Thank you LH. Perhaps if I pursue a career in aviation I would visit them all! lol I like to drive if all possible or practical.

Local_Historian wrote:

AlpineMike wrote: Doing what? I have yet to visit an airport located in the mountains.

Airports in the mountains -

Aspen
Durango
Eagle
Loveland
Gunnison
Telluride
Rifle
Paonia
Saguache
Crested Butte
Leadville
Granby


I would add Montrose, but they're pretty well on a high mountain plain. Bunch more on what I would consider mountain plains areas, so I didn't list them.

Happy hunting!

"It is only hard for me because I think my lifestyle does not fit the style of my generation."

AM - that is truly something to be proud of - also, I can't imagine having your butt out of your jeans - who thinks this is attractive!!!??? :no2: tongue:

Another point, is that why limit yourself to a narrow age range? There are very young people who were born old, and old people who are quite young. Age is not something I considered. If the attraction and major interests, life style, etc. are shared and a commitment to refine minor differences are there, I'd say go for it. Let it evolve, regardless of age differences. If the whole package is there, then you will find age is not something you think about until you need to be sure that your loved one(s) are taken care of before you rejoin the spirit of the universe.

I used up too many of my chances, is all. And wasted alot of precious time in the process. The older you get the harder it is for you to find that one person who just gets you. That is all I ever needed. Intimacy is about give and take of information and knowing that the person on the other end understands that you are not perfect, keeps your confidences and you both are there for each other when you have a problem and then you can have good time together too. I find that worrying about sexual compatibility and being 'happy' has replaced that. Unless you plan to have sex 24/7 then that is the last thing you should be worrying about. And that is not a relationship based on trust.

I tend to put things in simple terms. However the pressure of dating and relationships have made things harder to just be yourself.

Stay in the moment and for me it always starts as friends. Dating is not my thing. Society just gets worse and worse and does not allow for as much intimacy because sexual compatibility seems to be center stage. To get a better friend, be a better friend. AM, I feel your pain. Just don't be too hard on yourself! We are all good people just trying to do our best in a world that has no instructions!