I have a question that I hope you can help me with. My toddler (1 1/2 yrs. old) has started having temper tantrums. Is this normal for her age? And what happened to my sweet little darling?
LOL, I can't wait to hear about this one. It seemed to me they went through it at 2 then it felt like like they had tantrums in their teenage years as well.
Yes, it is absolutely normal. My youngest son used to throw himself on the floor and bang his whole body against it. If we were at home, I just let him do it until he exhausted himself...and I ignored him...it was the ignorning him that got his attention because he soon realized he wouldn't get any attention from mom. If we were in public, I would gently (sometimes I didn't feel like being gentle) take him out to the car, put him in his car seat and let him throw his fit.
He grew out of it and several people that witnessed his public explosions commented on how calm I was...I wasn't calm on the outside...but me being calm helped keep the situation from escalating. Furthermore, his older brother witnessed these tantrums and learned not to do that!
Your sweet darling is learning to assert her independence. It is all part of childhood.
Temper tantrums are normal during the toddler years, typically between the ages of 1-4 years old. It is developmentally appropriate and necessary for your child to be exhibiting these outbursts, and you want her to do so now rather than later. She is expressing the need for independence and development of her own personality, which is exactly what tantruming is all about. She is learning to make sense of the world around her, and because of a toddler's limited vocabulary, she is using this way to communicate her wants and needs. Although no one formula works for every child, some basic strategies to consider are as follows; 1) make sure she is not tired or hungry when going out, 2) carry her calmly out of the store when a tantrum occurs, 3) Provide a soft place for landing when she is throwing herself backwards, 4) Stay within her range but ignore her as much as possible and pretend to be busy doing something, 5) Empathize with her feelings of anger and frustration and verbalize your understanding, 6) Firmly and calmly tell her that you cannot allow her to hurt herself or others, 7) Keep routines and structure consistent and fair. Repeat some or all of the above as often as necessary. Your loving presence will reassure her that she is safe in testing boundries, while learning acceptable behavior. It certainly doesn't seem like it at the time, but tantruming is usually short-lived, and it helps when you understand the reason behind the behavior and monitor your reaction to it. Your child will survive, even though you think you may not! So you see, nothing unusual has happened to your darling, who will always be your sweet baby, by the way.
For more information and/or questions, please contact KidCentral.
It's a daily routine doing all the things listed by Kid Central, and while my 7 year old boy has certainly gotten much better, I'm still waiting for the day when I don't get at least one tantrum (over homework, getting to play Wii even though it's bedtime, etc). My 3 year old girl is much more even-tempered, but has her moments too. I try my best, when they are behaving their worst, to remind myself to even appreciate the bad days because they grow up way too fast!
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