The Decline Of Civility?

Sorry if this is bringing up a dead subject, I wanted to take some time to carefully consider/sleep on an answer before posting. This isn't quite the best answer that I'd like to give, but I have to leave for the Combined Chamber Mixer now and don't want to leave this any longer than I already have. I've had doctor's appointments for my son, or meetings scheduled pretty much constantly until 8pm yesterday, and starting back up again at 9:30am today so I just haven't had a chance to get back to this before now. I understand that addressing the issues brought up probably won't change a thing, but I don't want to leave them unaddressed either. I want to explain my side just so you all know where I'm coming from.

Becky wrote: The above removed posts by myself are evidence that very little time is spent in actual reading or moderation of this site.

I saw your post, but decided to give you a minute to fix it yourself, rather than jumping on top of it immediately. Some people get sensitive when moderation is done at the first second possible, rather than letting the poster take a minute to correct it themselves. My apologies for not taking care of your duplicate posts immediately, I didn't think they were that huge a problem and didn't realize that they would get used as evidence against how this site is run. As to this "entire site turning into the Ring", perhaps you could report some posts in any of the other forums that you think should be moved? There was a whole thread just moved from the CF to The Ring on the 19th (as soon as I could do it because I'd just spent that day and the previous one driving 20 hours, my apologies for not being right on top of it), yet you and that same poster kept going at it in the CF in yet another thread, and were even called out on it in that thread - you say you prefer personal responsibility and people should be self-moderating, then you say we should be moving them for you - which is it? Somehow I don't think that anything will ever be done to your satisfaction Becky, because it won't be run the way you would do it at that moment in time. JMC said that it hasn't been done "as well as envisioned", that's certainly not "That sort of moderation has not existed on this site for quite some time." as you put it.
So big picture: is the entire site going to hell, or do you just not like the few threads that you participate in? Do you read everything here and get a feel for the percentage that gets moved/edited versus left alone, or is your perception biased by the few threads you read/participate in? I ask because a small sample of threads aren't really representative if not looked at in the context of all of the threads posted in a set time frame. And yes, I do read all of the threads, maybe not as they are posted, but they do all get read.

Becky wrote: I like this site....I want it to do well but I am worried that it is moving to a pretty ugly place and no one is really watching the store.

Last week you accused me of not spending enough time up in the community, now after I subtly point out that I'm spending a ton of time up there, suddenly I'm not spending enough time watching the site - I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't? I appreciate that it means that much to you that you worry about this site, keep posting here, hope it does well, and are concerned that there isn't enough volunteer help. How about helping again and being a part of the solution? Because when you and the other scanners quit, I had to take on yet another duty that I really didn't have time for. It's pretty much impossible to listen to a scanner when attending a meeting that I'm videotaping, or when I take my kids to taekwondo or swimming lessons. I've got a 9 year old and a 4 year old who I'd like to spend time with this summer (and who get on me for being on the computer too much as it is) - they're only young once. I'm coordinating an event, the Barefoot, Bluegrass, and BBQ Festival, that will hopefully bring some exposure and support to this community through tourism, and also benefit a very worthy nonprofit whose work makes the troubles people have here on 285Bound look like trifles (unless being kidnapped or sold and forced as a child or teenager to prostitute yourself 10-15 times a day or be beaten so severely that you lose an eye isn't as bad as not having a mean, nasty post moved to another forum?), and I'm chairing the Conifer and Platte Canyon Chambers of Commerce's 285 Tourism Committee, after helping to create the Foothills Adventure Map over the past 8 months, in another attempt to help this community by increasing tourism dollars spent here. Last week when I went out of town for my 20 year high school reunion, it was the first week in 11 months that I haven't worked a 90 hour week (I've pulled more all-nighters in the last 6 months than I did in my entire college career), and yes, oftentimes I am the only one around to moderate. I could dearly use some more help because I can't possibly be everywhere all at once. What would you propose as a solution?

And let me say this now, I'm not saying all of this to get sympathy, or to make myself sound good, because I am not all that and a bag of chips, and no one forced me to do all the above - I just refuse to give anything less than my best and I'm letting you know the lengths that I already go to in order to provide a better product and service with my business. I am acutely aware that it's not enough at times. Everyone I talk to seems to be extremely busy these days taking on extra responsibilities, so it's not just me. I appreciate that you all let me know that there's not enough being done, and I agree to a point, but I'm going to ask for some perspective and say that now's the time to put up - to be blunt, help by moderating yourselves, or volunteering. One other way you can help is to go to https://www.missionsmallbusiness.com/ and vote for 285Bound.com - if I can afford to hire some help, that will take care of some of these issues. Right now, I'm not even breaking even so there's no way I can afford anyone, and the awesome volunteers already helping 285Bound are swamped with their own businesses and lives too.

Becky wrote: There are a boat load of bully's here who need a good talking to behind the scenes.

And who says that isn't happening? You have no clue how I even spend my day apparently, so what makes you think there is NO moderation going on. I've tried to approach moderating in a minimal way, dealing with things behind the scenes, and let the posters police themselves and each other, as was done by the previous owners. I'll be the first to admit I could use a lot more help, but if you want to be part of the solution, how about posting scanner information on the site again so it frees me up from trying to listen to the scanner on top of everything else that I do? Or volunteering in some other way?

Becky wrote: ( I do disagree that there have been times when ownership or past admins have been guilty of careful personal attacks that set a tone for others here.)

Can you please show me when I've attacked you? I've defended myself from your attacks, I've explained my side of the story, and just because you don't agree (because your POV isn't the only side of the story or the truth of the situation), doesn't make it an attack. I've never called you names, and I still take your phone calls and speak to you civilly and politely. The moderating isn't "unfair" if you expect that you will get back what you give - that's your personal responsibility isn't it? If you don't like how others post to you, then take a look at how you post toward them - you yourself admit that you will "vigorously defend yourself from an attack", and that you "give ***** a little taste of their own medicine", so you know full well what you are saying and where, you choose to post what you do and where. I have never encouraged anyone to "attack" you, nor have I harassed you or subjected you to any moderation that everyone else isn't also subject to.
Despite the fact that you've posted outright that you have no respect for me, I still listen to your opinions and weigh them as to whether if I take your suggestions/complaints about the site that it will make the site better. So if you want to actually step up and do something to help, great. If not, fine, but don't expect these same issues to continue to be dealt with by me - I've got other things to get done to provide a better product and service to this community. If anyone is interested in volunteering, PM me - I'll find a way to use and abuse you. Like I said before, I still think this site is the bomb and the members rock. Civility comes and goes as events pull us together, and the environment and life circumstances wear on us.