Society for the Elimination of Monotonal Instruments

I am starting a new organization, the Society for the Elimination of Monotonal Instruments.

Whereas -
- God hath given generously to human-kind, a broad diversity of tones;
- Certain instruments have demonstrated marked ineptitude at recognizing tonal diversity;
- The lack of tonal diversity is a decidedly vulgar phenomenon
- Monotonal instruments rely disproportionately on reeds, which may come from a plant species known for its ability to sequester and convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.
- Monotonal instruments further contribute to global warming, by requiring musicians to exhale

Be it thereby RESOLVED
This community recommends the banning of monotonal instruments.

Q&A

Q: Some opponents have claimed there are racist underpinnings behind this effort.

A: Hardly. Although monotonal instruments are very prevalent in the Scottish highlands, their origins can be traced back to the Roman Empire. Their use is readily documented in Europe, Asia, Africa, and North America.

Q: Institutions of higher learning argue that banning monotonal instruments is a violation of academic freedom - and more important - tradition.

A: We acknowledge this concern, but point out that Academe itself, like the instrument in question - has been monotonal in recent history when it comes to social and political questions.
We might add that some researchers have claimed that academe's insistence on utilizing monotonal instruments - may actually - in fact reduce the prevalence of certain sub-conscious mechanisms known to trigger diversity of thought. Perhaps Alice Cooper's rock anthem "School's Out," might substitute for the popular monotonic "Scotland the Brave."

Are there dues?

first year's free, Bob.

I'm in. In spite of your disclaimer I do not want to miss another chance for a raceologist to declare me a racist hater. Now what is a Monotonal Instrument?

Does this include accordions? Because if it does, then I'm calling you a hater.

lol - I think accordions can play a variety of scales - yes?

I had one from my grandpa - it played in at least a half dozen keys.

A monotone or monophonic instrument is capable of only a single (one) note at a time. Woodwind and brass instruments are the most common examples. As a fan of polka and banda I could never join this society.

Cue sad trombone music.
http://www.myinstants.com/instant/sad-trombone/

Photo-fish wrote: A monotone or monophonic instrument is capable of only a single (one) note at a time. Woodwind and brass instruments are the most common examples. As a fan of polka and banda I could never join this society.

Cue sad trombone music.
http://www.myinstants.com/instant/sad-trombone/

Then Bailey Bud probably has a problem with harmonicas. A thousand curses to harmonica haters.

Perhaps you are think of monophonic instrument, instrument capable of producing only one note at a time. Monotonic is something that produces one note only. Monotonal is having an equal tone throughout, as in a sound, color, or printing typeface

There seems to be a confusion in terms here.

Harmonicas can blow 2 notes at the same time as they have more than one reed.