So you want to have an affair? (relationships)

I wonder how many of you want to have an affair or have considered having one? What would this look and feel like? How exciting would it be to have an affair? If nobody knows, who's going to be hurt! Well, the truth of the matter is, many will be hurt, you, your spouse, children, family members and your close friends.

It may seem like fun at first, but then you realize that your not someone who sneaks around, your not dishonest, and you hate the guilt associated with being a cheater. Could you imagine what your children would say to you if they found out that you were cheating on mom or dad? Believe me, the people that I have talked to, are not dealing with the trust issue with their kids. The cold shoulder, the long stares, and the broken hearts are hard for parents to deal with, and no lover will ever convince you that the kids will be ok through your affair.

I watched a friend of mine, wife have an affair on him, the kids withdrew from the mother and really wanted nothing to do with her. It killed her that her children didn't want to see her or be near her, but she kept right on with her affair. Since then, she has been married several times and has no relationship with her children who now are adults. Is it worth it? I hope not, an affair is usually brief, takes everyone down with it, and leaves no victors, only victims. I have helped several people pick up the pieces of a broken relationship, its not fun. The broken hearts have to be a deterrent to most people. The only problem is they will see this after the fact, and its usually to late.

Having an affair may be exciting for a while, but most likely short lived, and very painful. I would say if your considering having an affair and have no one to talk to, I can coach you through the process of protecting yourself from the pain of having an affair and destroying your family and losing friends. How many of you have been hurt by your EX having an affair on you? Probably many of you!

Do you need help in restoring a relationship with your ex, or want to restore your marriage? Are you having a difficult time in current relationships and want to have a healthy balance in your life? Is life overwhelming and you need help in figuring out what you need to do next? Are you embarrassed about a failed relationship and just need to move on. If you answered yes to any of these, I can help you. When we are in the hurting stage of a failed marriage, break-up of a long term relationship, sometimes we need help to sort things out and figure out what to do next. If that's where you're at right now, give me a call.

If you have any questions please PM me for additional information.

Since I am not entirely familiar with all aspects of what services a life coach performs, maybe I am not the only one. Can you tell me (or us) what you are licensed (or if you are licensed) in, and what are all the services you offer to people? Do you do any mediating for example?

Jack, believe me your not the only one who is wondering, what a life coach does. A life coach, is not required to have a license in any states. That being said, most life coaches worth their salt, have been trained in the niches their good at. (A lot of people say they're a life coach and are not). Keep in mind that there is a big difference between therapist and a life coach. A life coach differs from therapy in that the focus is more on the present and future than the past, more on goals and behaviors than emotions and emotional patterns, and there is a more equal balance of power between the coach and client than between the typical therapist and client.

The area's that I have 25 years of experience are in; relationships, marriage and break-ups, reconciliation. I have many professional athletes as clients that I work with, they can keep you busy for sure, again relationships with spouses, partners, image with the public, team-mates, coaches and owners. The bad boys that you hear on the news for doing something stupid in public or private, will hire me to keep them out of trouble. I have mediated divorces, I work with lawyers and clients for an equal and fair settlement. Not one of my favorite things to do.

My services that I offer are:
Divorcecare, helping men and women cope with divorce. (open to public) Tuesday evening for 13 weeks

Divorcecare features nationally recognized experts on divorce and recovery topics. Seminar sessions include "facing anger," "Facing my loneliness," "Depression," "New Relationships," "KidCare," and "Forgiveness." This is an open group, you can attend any of the classes at anytime. List of 13 week sessions:
1. What's happening to me? Why divorce hurts so much & How to stabilize my life
2. The road to Healing & finding help! Emotional damages caused by divorce, understanding and grieving my losses
3. Facing my anger. Identifying the sources of my anger & healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with anger
4. Facing my depression. How to recognize symptoms of depression & how to pull out of it
5. Facing my loneliness. Causes and consequences of loneliness & how to deal with my loneliness
6. What does the owner's manual say? Why the bible is important & finding God's help and guidence
7. New relationships. How to know if I am ready for a new relationship & keys to a successful relationships
8. Financial survival. Strategies to minimize the financial strains of divorce & how to stabilize my budget
9. Kidcare. Understanding the effects of divorce on children & mistakes parents make and how to avoid them
10. Single sexuality. Facing the loss of sexual intimacy and expression & how to deal with my sexual urges and desires
11. Forgiveness. The danger of not forgiving & How to know if I have forgiven
12. Reconciliation. How marriages come back together & How to reconcile without remarrying
13. Moving on, growing closer to God. Understanding the good that can come from my divorce & Defining what is at the center of my life


Trained as a facilitator for the Five Love Languages (improving your marriage).

How to save your marriage through relationship coaching (dealing with divorce, not being vulnerable while separated, or considering getting divorced).
1. Surviving the break-up
2. How to Save your marriage alone
3. What not to do while your separated
4. Advice for the broken hearted
5. How to help your children through the divorce
6. How your friends can get you into trouble
7. Dating again, protecting yourself

Professional Athletes accountability coaching:
My Services include:
1. Dealing with Life under the spotlight/"image is Everything"
2. Establishing a strong and positive support system
3. Goal setting, planning and positive decision making
4. Righting the ship if or when troubles or difficulties do arise
5. Understanding the value of team commitment
6. On call 24/7 emergency consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

Professional Accountability Partner Program: for Doctors, lawyers, and corporate executives.
My services include:
1. Establishing a strong and positive support system for yourself.
2. Goal setting, planning and positive decision making in your family, practice or office.
3. Keeping your relationships healthy with your spouse/partner, children and family.
4. Preventing affairs in the work place that will destroy your family, practice or business.
5. The importance of time management for doctors, Lawyers corporate executives.
6. On call 24/7 emergency consultation, All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

I hope this information helps with what I provide my clients. My website has a lot more details about my experience and how Life Coaching works. Thanks for asking!

Dear Dr. Mike:

My wife and I are a middle-aged couple. We have two beautiful daughters and we decided to try one last time for the son we always wanted.

My wife got pregnant and recently delivered a healthy baby boy. I rushed to the nursery to see my new son and was horrified. The little guy was the ugliest child I'd ever seen!

I told my wife there's no way I can be the father of that baby. After all, we have two beautiful daughters I fathered! I demanded to know if she'd been fooling around behind my back!

She broke my heart when she replied, 'No, not this time!'

What do I do Dr. Mike????

Wow, you really said that to your wife? If I had such an insensitive husband I might cheat on you too. Also, please keep in mind that babies aren't the most attractive things when they first come out, and they all grow up to look different and individual. So while your two daughters might be gorgeous (which I assume you think you are too), I certainly hope you won't shun your son if he doesn't make the Hollywood A-List. I hope for your family's sake that your water level gets deeper as you get older and doesn't remain so shallow.

Pssssst!!!!! It was a joke...

rofllol

Good, glad to hear it, I was about ready to get my frying pan out!

Thanks for the wonderful laugh this morning, what a wonderful sense of humor you have, whoever you are!!!!! rofllol

For a more serious response to the initial post: a dear family friend was "out of the loop" about her husband's well-known activities for so long that we all became co-conspirators in his deception. People thinking about having an affair should consider the effects of that decision on family friends who are in one way or another, made aware of the marital breach. Often it's the friendships that suffer when a reconciliation later occurs between the spouses, after the now-savvy person realizes he or she has been constructively lied to -- sometimes for an extended period of time -- by friends they thought were loyal. Meanwhile, well-meaning friends are trying to be loyal...but how can this be done when they know one of the partners is cheating on the other?! Eventually, there's a "disconnect" in the friendship as the words left unspoken overwhelm what's actually being said.

True, BA. The lying is the worst part of it all. And the hardest to get over on all sides. That is, assuming that the person doing the lying cares enough to want to be forgiven and is a good guy/gal. Most times it cannot be worked out. But agree with you. It is hard on the people that find out too.

Funny joke guys.

I absolutely agree that the lying is the worst part. It's amazing to me that spouses will believe what someone says, when they've already busted that person at a previous lie. They should realize that their spouse will say anything, but anything, to avoid the consequences of their behavior -- whether or not that information is accurate in any way.

After a 28-year marriage that has sometimes been rocky like everybody else's, I'm proud to say I've never had an affair, even so much as over the phone or by way of an illicit "French kiss." Sure I've occasionally been tempted, again like everybody else, but never thought it was worth the hassle...not to mention I promised God that I wouldn't.