The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time
Hell is Where:
The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police
"Whatever you are, be a good one." ~ Abraham Lincoln
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.
An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.
Soon afterward, he died and showed up at the gates of heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”. The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord.
Sure enough, St. Peter checked it out, came back and said, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”. St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, “You brought pavement?
"Whatever you are, be a good one." ~ Abraham Lincoln
Nobody that matters wrote: There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.
An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.
Soon afterward, he died and showed up at the gates of heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”. The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord.
Sure enough, St. Peter checked it out, came back and said, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”. St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, “You brought pavement?
Nobody that matters wrote: On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"
rofllol
"Now, more than ever, the illusions of division threaten our very existence. We all know the truth: more connects us than separates us. But in times of crisis the wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers. We must find a way to look after one another as if we were one single tribe.” -King T'Challa, Black Panther
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is. ~Winston Churchill
Kate wrote: If I understand you correctly then, there are different ways for different people to get into heaven. Your logic, not mine.
Well of course there are Kate, why do you think there are so many different religions? Do you think that a kind and loving Creator would only leave you one path back to Him? It is not for you or I to judge on who is worthy of entering the Kingdom of Heaven (judge not, lest you yourself be judged), it is for God alone to make that decision (no one comes to the Father except through Me).
Kate wrote: Actually, Jesus listed the commandments that were to be followed, then told the man to sell his possessions, give the money to the poor and then follow Jesus. That was how Jesus told him to attain eternal life.
Why do you think that Jesus didn't mention the commandments about not worshiping false gods, keeping holy the Sabbath or taking the Lord's name in vain to the man Kate? Are these not important to follow as well if one wished to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? You are correct in that this is what Jesus said to this man, but what was it about this man that Jesus knew was preventing him from being one who could enter that Kingdom that caused him to answer him as He did? Is it your belief that there is a one size fits all manner in which God expects His children to live? Are we all supposed to be farmers, or fishermen, or carpenters, or tailors or roaming evangelists of His teachings? Are we commanded to live in communes where the only purpose of one's efforts is to sustain the others?
And wouldn't following the commandment to not covet the possessions of your neighbor include deciding whether your neighbor needs the money they have earned from the fruits of their own efforts or deciding to take it from him and redistribute it to others who are more in need of that money? Didn't Jesus give the man an option to choose for himself whether or not to sell what he owned, give the money to the poor and follow Him so that he would be complete and be ready to enter the Kingdom? If you wish for Christians to follow the teachings of Jesus, aren't we thus supposed to ensure that contributions to the poor are of a voluntary nature and not compulsory so that everyone would have the same choices that Jesus gave to the man? That was also very clear, wasn't it? That Jesus left the choice on whether the man would give to the poor to the man?
